In The End (It Doesn't Even Matter)
by Lioness's Heart
Summary: Bash knows that this is a bad idea before it even really begins. Oneshot.


**Disclaimer: I own nothing, as per usual.**

**I recently started watching Reign and I've fallen in love with Bash. His arc has seemed really sad so far in the first season and I am really hoping things start to get better for him. This is heavily based on the beginning of that arc and his messy relationship with Mary so far. I'd love to hear what y'all think!  
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Bash knows that this is a bad idea before it even really begins. The moment it occurs to him that his mother is trying to legitimize him, he has a sinking feeling. This could mean both of their deaths. He may be his father's favorite son, but he knows that Henry will not tolerate his mother undermining the line of succession.

She could not have chosen a worse time to put her plans into motion. Elizabeth Tudor is about to stake her claim on the English throne and Henry is about to make a power grab through Mary. If Elizabeth takes the throne, that is a bastard on the throne of England. That makes his position at court even more vulnerable. He is there because his father wants him there. The moment he puts Henry's plans for England in jeopardy, he will no longer be welcome at the French court.

And then Mary gets involved and he knows his fate is sealed. He can see it in her eyes that she is trying to run and he cannot let her go alone. If anything happened to her he would never be able to forgive himself.

He finds out the hard way that she feels the same in that regard. He finds out later on that she has backed his father into a corner to get what she wants. The clever girl. He also finds out that she made his father change the line of succession to save Francis and to save him. He curses her for it.

Francis is angry, but there is nothing he can do about that. Mary is strong-willed and clever and Bash does not know what to say. He knows that he loves her and that is enough for that moment.

He does not want to be legitimized, but he wants Mary. He knows he should not – Mary is – _was_ – his brother's fiancée. She loves Francis.

But he loves her enough to go through with it anyway.

That does not mean that he will not balk and he has to restrain himself from acting like a child while he is regent. He knows that being flippant will not help him, but he hates the pressure from every side and he hates knowing that people will do anything to pull him off the throne. Even if it is not his throne yet he knows that the court does not take kindly to bastards who reach for power. He tries not to hate himself for it.

Bash tries. He really does. He tries to be a good regent and he tries to live up to his brother's shadow. Francis was a good dauphin. Bash knows he is not. He cannot put France first. He can only put Mary first. He was never raised for this. The things he is good at do not help him at court. He cannot shoot the nobles like he would shoot a deer. He cannot use his tracking skills to read someone's face and their secrets. He hates politics.

But he loves Mary and that is enough. She is beautiful and kind and even though he knows that she loves Francis he prays that she might come to love him like she loves his brother. He prays that she might come to love him like he loves her.

He begins to realize how close he is to losing her when Catherine nearly kills her. It is terrifying and he wants to kill Catherine himself for what she did to Mary.

For a moment, they are happy. The dangers have passed and for the first time since his father put him in the dungeons for helping her, it feels completely right.

He wants to blame Catherine when it falls apart. He wants to blame Clarissa. He wants to blame Nostradamus. In his heart he knew that their happiness would not last forever. He is nothing but a bastard and she is Mary, Queen of Scotland.

He loves her and he wants it to be enough. It is not.

"I love you. I do," she says.

He needs to hear the words. Bash needs to know why she is choosing his brother over him. He needs to know why she is choosing someone who can never put her – _her and_ _Scotland_ – first.

"I love Francis more."

It breaks him.

Bash hates Francis for taking her away. He hates his brother for taking back what he knows was never his to start with. He hates himself for hoping. He hates himself for loving her when he knows he cannot.

It turns out that Francis hates him just as much for trying to take Mary away in the first place. Bash does not blame him. He knows exactly how Francis feels.

When Francis makes it clear that he is no longer welcome at court he knows he has to go. He does not want to, but he knows that Mary is going to marry Francis and there is nothing he can do about it. He cannot watch the woman he loves marry his own brother.

He loves her. It will never be enough.


End file.
